Temperament in your baby and child

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Read about different characteristics and types of temperament and how you can match your parenting approach to your child’s behavioural style.

Key points

  • Temperament is your child's behavioural style, and it determines how they express and regulate emotion and react to situations. 
  • Although children are born with a particular temperament, their environment, experiences and how others respond to them can influence their behaviour.  
  • You can help regulate your baby's emotions by respecting their communication signals and responding in a soothing manner when they are distressed.
  • You can help regulate your child’s reactivity by being a good role model and by adapting your parenting style to their needs.

Your child has their own individual characteristics and patterns of behaviour that influence the way they respond to daily events in their life. This is called their temperament; it is part of their innate personality.

What is temperament?

Temperament is your baby's or child’s behavioural style. It determines how they react to situations, and how they express and regulate their emotions. Some scientists think of temperament as having two broad aspects: emotions, and the ability to control emotions. They use the term "reactivity" to describe the emotional response your baby has to a new situation, how long it takes them to respond, and the intensity of the response. Scientists also use the term "regulation" to refer to how a baby regulates their reactivity. Controlling personal emotions and reactions, also known as effortful control, is an extension of regulation that develops in the toddler and pre-school years.

What are the characteristics of temperament?

In the 1960s, an important study of temperament was conducted. It ran for three decades and assessed 131 babies from the age of three months until adulthood. At the end of the study, the researchers proposed the following nine characteristics of temperament:

  • Activity level: how active the baby is
  • Rhythmicity: how regular the baby’s sleep/wake and feeding routines are
  • Distractibility: how easily the baby can be distracted from something they are doing
  • Approach/withdrawal: how the baby responds to new experiences
  • Adaptability: how the baby adapts to new situations
  • Attention span/persistence: how persistent the baby is when faced with challenges
  • Intensity of reaction: how intense the baby’s responses and emotions are
  • Sensitivity: how sensitive the baby is to flavours, textures and noises
  • Quality of mood: whether the baby has a happy, positive mood most of the time or an unpleasant, negative mood most of the time

The characteristics of a baby’s temperament emerge very early in life, and they become more stable as the baby gets older.

What are the major types of temperament?

As a result of the study, psychologists determined that there are three major types of temperament: easy, difficult, and slow-to-warm-up.

About 40% of babies and children have an easy temperament, meaning that they readily approach and easily adapt to new situations, they react mildly to things, they are regular in their sleep/wake and eating routines, and they have a positive overall mood. Easy babies make their caregivers feel as if they are doing a great job!

Approximately 10% of babies and children have a difficult temperament, which means that they withdraw from or are slow to adapt to new situations, they have intense reactions, they have irregular routines, and they have a negative mood. They tend to have long and frequent crying episodes. Caregivers of difficult babies may question their child care abilities and wonder what they are doing wrong.

The term "difficult" has a negative connotation as it overlooks what are often valuable behavioural traits: assertiveness, persistence and decisiveness. Other words such as "spirited" or "feisty" have been suggested because they sound more positive; however, the word "difficult" is used here because it is the established term in the scientific literature.

Between 5% and 15% of babies and children are slow-to-warm-up, in that they withdraw from or are slow to adapt to new things, they have a low level of activity, and they show a lot of negative mood. Slow-to-warm-up babies do not like to be pushed into things. They are frequently thought of as shy or sensitive.

About 40% of children do not fit into any one category; instead, they have a combination of these qualities.

How do the characteristics and types of temperament relate to each other?

Because many babies and children do not fit into a particular category, it is sometimes helpful to consider how the characteristics and types of temperament relate to each other. A baby may have some "difficult" characteristics and other characteristics that are "easy." For example, your baby might have intense reactions and yet be very regular in their sleep/wake and feeding routine. The relationship between the characteristics and types of temperament are summarized in the table below:

Characteristic Easy temperament Slow-to-warm-up temperament Difficult temperament
Activity level Varies Low to moderate Varies
Rhythmicity (How regular their routine is) Very regular Varies Irregular
Distractibility Varies Varies Varies
Approach/
withdrawal (How easily they respond to new experiences)
Approaches readily Withdraws at first Withdraws
Adaptability (How easily they adapt to new situations) Very adaptable Slowly adaptable Slowly adaptable
Attention span/
persistence (How persistent they are when faced with challenges)
High or low High or low High or low
Intensity of reaction (How intense their responses and emotions are) Low or mild Mild Intense
Sensitivity (How sensitive they are to textures, noises, or flavours) High or low High or low High or low
Quality of mood (Whether they are usually pleasant and happy [positive mood] or usually unpleasant [negative mood]) Positive Slightly negative Negative

Source: Thomas A, Chess S, Birch AG. The Origin of Personality. Scientific American 1970;223:102-9.
https://www.scientificamerican.com.

What to do for your baby

There are three major types of temperament: easy, difficult, and slow-to-warm-up. Easy babies are just that: they adapt easily to new situations, react mildly to things, and have a positive and happy mood most of the time. Difficult babies have intense reactions and difficulty adapting to new situations; they cry often and have an overall negative mood. Slow-to-warm-up babies have a low activity level, and they take a long time to adapt to new situations. They are sometimes thought of as shy.

The way that a child is nurtured can have an effect on their reactivity. In nurturing your own child, it is important to try and tailor your behaviours to accommodate your baby’s reactivity. For example, if your baby is highly reactive, try and remain calm when soothing them, and do not rock them too vigorously. If your baby is low-reactive, remember to offer them comfort and soothing, even when their reactions seem mild or low-key in a context of potential distress.

As your baby gets older, they will learn to regulate their emotions. This means that they will start to show their emotions in a milder way. They will find ways to cope constructively with their feelings. For example, if they are fearful, they might not cry as intensely as they would have when they were younger.

You can help your baby to regulate their emotions by respecting their communication signals and responding in a soothing manner when they are distressed. Try to tone things down when they become overly excited.

Studies show that, of all the temperament types, the difficult temperament is most likely to continue as the baby gets older. It is also the one that causes the most stress in caregivers. If you have a difficult baby, you may need to learn to adjust your reactions to them as they get older, in order to be a more effective caregiver. Here are a few tips for interacting with your difficult baby:

  • Spend lots of time with them, one-on-one, reading a book or singing to them.
  • Try to be as consistent as possible with naptimes, activities, feeding, and other daily activities.
  • Learn to anticipate your baby’s fussy periods. If you know they will get upset in certain situations, try to avoid those activities.
  • Offer physical comfort when they are upset, by giving them a big hug.
  • If your baby has very intense reactions and emotions, try to remain calm and avoid rocking them too vigorously.
  • Avoid labelling your baby as "bad."

What to do as your child gets older

Effortful control is a sophisticated part of temperament that develops as your child gets older. A child with good effortful control will think about a situation first instead of following their first natural reaction. If they can control their natural impulse to react, they can give themselves time to plan out their response and avoid making mistakes. These children are able to think of effective, efficient strategies for coping with situations.

Children with good effortful control can do things like the following:

  • Delay: They can look at a candy displayed under a transparent cup without immediately reaching for it.
  • Slowing of motor movement: They can draw a line slowly.
  • Effortful attention: They can recognize small shapes hidden within a larger shape.
  • Lowering the voice: They can lower their voice when necessary.

Children who develop the above characteristics tend to have fewer behaviour problems. Older children with good effortful control are high in empathy when they sense distress or discomfort in another person. They feel guilty when they think they have done something wrong or are contemplating potentially inappropriate behaviour. They can deal with anger verbally rather than through fighting. Effortful control is also important to the development of conscience, because children with good effortful control will empathize with what others are going through.

Here are some tips on how to help your child, as mentioned in the book Pathways to Competence by child development specialist Dr. Sarah Landy.

Activity level

If your child is very active, provide them with opportunities to let off some steam, such as running, jumping, and climbing. Alternate these activities with fine motor activities like drawing or cutting. If you need them to be quiet, make sure it is only for a short period of time. Help them practice moving slowly like a snail, and play games like Simon Says, which have slow and fast movements in sequence. Encourage them to use words instead of always using actions to express themselves. Provide consistent limits and structure.

If your child has a low activity level, give them enough time to finish tasks. Do not criticize them, and do not allow other more active children to take over. Focus on their accomplishments. Encourage them to do exercises to improve their coordination.

Rhythmicity

If your child is very regular in their daily routine, try to accommodate their need for regularity. Maintain their routine as much as possible on holidays, vacations, and outings. Prepare them well ahead of time for any transitions and talk to them about any changes in routine that are coming up.

If your child is not regular at all in their routine, accept how they feel but impose social rules. For example, accept that they may not be hungry, but ask that they sit at the table and eat one thing. Accept that they might not be tired but tell them to stay in their bed. Impose a regular waking time, mealtimes, and bedtime. Give them time to wake up in the morning and help them to establish a routine. Show your child how to talk themselves through the routine.

Approach/withdrawal

If your child does not respond well to new situations, support them through new experiences and set a time limit. Prepare for new activities by encouraging your child to use their imagination and pretend they are getting ready for an adventure. Be there for them when things do not work out. Encourage them when they show initiative and follow their lead when appropriate. Help them to talk about their feelings. Try inviting a playmate over, perhaps someone who is younger. Teach your child appropriate ways to approach new children, such as saying, "Can I play?" or "Can I help?"

If your child plunges into new situations readily, watch them carefully to keep them safe. If they are pushy with other children, teach them appropriate ways to approach them. If your child tends to be overenthusiastic at first about a new situation, and then negative, try to prepare them ahead of time and give them realistic expectations.

Adaptability

If your child takes a long time adapt to new situations, provide them with many opportunities to experience new things in a brief and gradual way. Provide predictable routines. Do not use a sink-or-swim approach, as this can make your child more anxious. Talk about upcoming events, let them ask questions, and provide reassurance. Warn them about transitions. Give them opportunities to interact with other children and teach them appropriate ways to approach new children.

If your child is quick to adapt, enjoy it and just make sure the situation is safe. Let them know you appreciate how well they are managing. Check that they are continuing to enjoy the activity. If their enjoyment is fading, remind them that sometimes this happens.

Sensitivity

If your child is very sensitive to textures, flavours, or noises, avoid those certain clothes, foods or other items that trigger intense reactions. Give them words to explain how they feel. When situations get too difficult, for example, when too many people are around, remove them from the environment. Try to calm your child before they spin out of control. Teach your child how to use deep breathing techniques in difficult situations. When your child shows positive reactions such as empathy and concern, encourage them.

If your child is not sensitive, they may come across as passive and uninterested. Alert them to cues they may be missing, and make sure they understand what is being requested. Draw them out by being very persistent and enthusiastic, and work hard to get their attention. Find out what does stimulate them, perhaps listening to loud music or playing on the swings and provide opportunities for these activities.

Intensity of reaction

If your child has very intense reactions, try to keep your cool, and respond in a calm way. Listen to their concerns and discuss them. Ask them to talk calmly about what is upsetting them. Use time-outs to let them, and you, cool down. Step away from the situation if necessary.

Try to intervene before your child has a meltdown. Look for those signs that their intensity is building. Persist in your limit-setting and do not give in.

If your child’s reactions are very mild, listen to their opinions and take their complaints of pain and upset seriously. Encourage them to express their opinion and talk about their feelings. Make sure to soothe them when they need it, even if their reactions are low key.

Distractibility

If your child is easily distracted, provide them with a small, enclosed place to play, and very few toys at a time. Make sure they understand any directions and remove any distracting items if possible. Provide them with firm limits and structure. Insist that they spend some concentrated time on the activities but give them breaks periodically. When they finish a task, praise them.

If your child is not easily distracted, provide them with warnings about when to stop an activity. Try not to ask your child to do something when they are in the middle of concentrating on something else. If they are constantly trying to be alone in order to get something done, make sure to include them in social activities as well.

Attention span/persistence

If your child has a problem sticking with things and paying attention, use touch, pictures, and verbal instructions to help them finish a task. Offer guidance and assistance and stay close by in case the task gets too difficult for them. Have them work for brief periods at a time in an uncluttered, consistent place. Let them take breaks while doing a task, but make sure they return to the task after the break. Make sure they complete the task and praise them when they do.

If your child is very persistent with a high attention span, praise their persistence when appropriate. Choose your battles carefully and try to negotiate whenever possible. At the same time, make sure you are clear about rules, and stick to them. Teach your child to estimate the time it will take to complete a task and let them know that sometimes they need to stop before they finish a task. Give them a warning if you need them to interrupt a task.

Quality of mood

If your child is negative and unpleasant much of the time, try to help them see the positive. Show them what they can do. Teach them to look at both sides of a situation, but do not downplay their distress. If they become very upset, try giving them a short time-out as a way to calm down. Teach them appropriate ways to express anger and frustration. Give them lots of opportunities to experience fun activities that they enjoy.

If your child is happy and positive most of the time, enjoy it! Let them know you appreciate their good nature. However, teach them to be a bit more cautious about people, and give them some safeguards.

Last updated: septiembre 5th 2024